when there is nothing in life to apreciate , when there is nothing left to look forward to -
what is the point of living ,
- mt <3

while im here

while im here ;
id like to give my love to kelly & ralph on there special day ;
270709 - ralph
&
290709-kelly
i love you both dearly have a great 14th & 13th <3

Yes im a bitch , a bitch is also knowed as a female dog .
I am not in this case in any form of animal ,
I don’t think I should have been given this title ,
Like a slut or nerd I did not ask to be called a bitch
I was simply knowed , called and labelled as it .
I have adjusted to it however ,
Like the moon has to learn to love fireworks ,
I had to learn to love being called a bitch ;
I have learnt to twist the title in many ways ,
Like ms benedette teaches us to twist the English language so that it becomes beneficial to us ;
I have learnt to make this title beneficial for me ,
This title has not only earned me trouble , but it has also given me courage , inner strength and confidence ;
Being a true bitch , life would have given you these skills to survive in such a screwed up world ;
As a matter of factly , I believe I was much typically a nerdy asian or the fat asian or the stupid asian
Not the bitchy asian ,
but being knowed as one ; ive learnt those life lessons
those little ones , that seem to mean so much more
the life lessons that teach you things about people which make you become the bitch
the ones that you pray to god you ever need to go through once ;
because those little life lessons leave you scars ;
the type that never leave you -
& they change you in so many ways possible ,

You know how people go , 'hey you evie, Leith gf ?' or 'hey do you know Kelly , tonys sister ?' or 'hey do you know grace , the smart girl ?'
Well im Melinda , Melinda the bitch;

' Hey do you know Melinda ? '
' Melinda who ? '
' Melinda the bitch. '
As I have told you before I did not ask to be called this
I did not ask someone to call me a bitch
Or someone to call me melinda the bitch
It has just spread , and now I have no other choice but to learn to live with it ;


if you think im a bitch , or havent decided yet ;
get to know me before you judge me /
but whether you think im a bitch or not it dosent affect me in anyway;
i'll live my life the way i want to - no regrets
cause only god can judge me .

Dear god ;
Im made a mistake ,
& I know what I got for It is what I deserve ,
I know it hurted him , but it killed me ,
I know what I say wont change anything ;
But please tell him from me , im sorry
With all my heart I am .
Yours , Melinda .
190709

i dont understand how we label girls , i honestly do it and dont you dare deny it ,
i do it because im used to it , im getting labelled by everyone everyday , first glance and a light just clicks in peoples mind .
how they look ; how they dress
its no longer a personal choice ,
someone cant just leave there room wearing something they can be completely happy with ,
they always have they reoccuring thought of other people judgemental stares .
everyone does it ;
we all say the same shit .
its not only sterotypical but also stupid .
why would you judge anyone by how they look or what they choose to wear ,
a girl who can be completely stunning can dress in rags and guys will just walk right past her , as soon as she wears a short skirt and a push up bra , they'll turn there heads .
not once but twice .

hbd kerrie, love u (:


k.

chances are like balls being thrown at you -
you can risk getting hurt by attempting to catch it or leave the opportunity to catch it and watch as another person catches the chance -

lets not take the chance .
take the risk .

food

so like i ate soo much today , but i dont know if im hungry or not . like i cant decide . i think thats why im obese .
kerries bday on monday . HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERRIE ! (:
anywaaays . my bum is like itchy .

;

screw blogging . cbf

Friday, 10 July 2009

Last day of school, nah nahnaaah (:

Today was pretty boring cos like only Kerrie, Lucy & me were at school, so yeah ahah. So, um, today, first period was Science, i hate science :P. Then we had like recess, whcih was gay cos i spent the first half of it looking for Kerrie :L.

The second was history, ahaha it was funny shit cos like Evie was tryna be all gansta, but, of course, she isn't LMFAOO. She was like, oh i taxxed this bookmark from the library (which was for free ahahah) & like she was like omg, i littered.. & she was full saying words like crib and homie and stuff which she couldn't say ROFL. Yeah, anyways, 3rd was maths. Omgeee, Judy had my mathsbook that dickhead(: & maths was okay gee, inequations are hard aye.

Then, last period was talentquest which was pretty good (Y).. kinda. Maybe next year i should do talentquest ;D.. i was joking jeez of course not, i get like stage fright man.

Yeah, then after that i went tutor, my bro couldn't go cos he had a headache or something SIFFF MAN. So, i went by myself and it was like only one hour which was cooool hehe. Yeaaaah, then i went home and ate and watch some movies so now i'm typing this up.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, k

all over again -

& i hate myself for placing heart into such a situation ; i could have avoided this . if i didnt let the walls fall -
i could have kept them up .
but i didnt , kept telling myself i could handle it '
and i nearly believed it . i kept myself on my own two feet -
i could even pretend what was happening , what was so obviously clearly displayed before me , wasnt bothering me -
i was able to set it all aside and stand tall .
but with one blow -
not only are my walls down , but i cant stand up anymore ,
- no one understands
& even if they did , they cant pull me back up -

im done with pretending , ive done it all from the begininng and it hasnt taken me anywhere high , all its done is send me to my feet -
im sick of not loving fully - scared i'll get hurt .
im sick of smiling for a audience who dosent appreciate how much its hurts to keep the act alive -
im sick of pretending , lying and making out for the sake of it .
truth is , i dont know who i am .
i may seem so secure -
but really im not , im the complete opposite -
they all say the same .
keep your head high and laugh it off -

god ive tried that all my life .
it just isnt working .

WTF . C FOR MATHS - )x

Helloooooooooooo:D.
Todays Tuesday and theres like 1, 2, 3 more days till holidaaayys hehe:).
So today was an okay day , i think ahah.
First period was english and i has to read my speech which didn't make sense and i think i'm gna get so shit for it :(.
And then 2nd was Geo witch was boringgg Then maths which was hmm okay, i guess. Then Science we dissected a kidney hehe, gross but coool :)
So i'm really bored right now and i'm not really supposed to be on the net, but uhwell xD.

Oh and tomoros the interviews and we get our reports back tomoro & i don't think i'll get good at all:(. All D's, i think :/



- Everytime you go to sleep at night, I wonder what you
hide behind closed eyes. What else could you be keeping from me?

kl.

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

Soo, this morning i woke up and watched Hannah Montannah and then after that there was a movie about dogs, it was pretty good lmao! Then i went tutor after that, how gay aye.. :(. I find blogging pretty fascinating now ahah except i don't know how to change the skin and the ones you can choose from arent that pretty :(.

kl